14 November 2014


This is Freddie. He was born two weeks ago. And what a two weeks it's been!
So Rosie went into labour and everything went crazy in the space of an hour and all our planning and stuff went out the window. This was when I was waiting outside the operating theatre while Rosie had a caesarean section under general anaesthetic. 

We had parked in an emergency spot in front of the hospital. After they took Rosie in, they told me to wait out here. I asked if I should go down and lock the car (when really I wanted to get my camera) and they said alright, but be quick.  
These sliding doors would open every once in a while when this guy who was polishing the floors walked through. I couldn't hear anything for about 15 minutes, then one time he walked through and I could hear a baby crying! 'That must be Freddie!' I thought. Well, he wasn't called Freddie at that point, but I thought that must be our kid crying, mustn't it.

Before I knew it, out came the cool midwife called Sophie with this little chap! I liked him immediately. 

This is when they weighed him. He had only been out and about for 10 minutes or so at this point. Looking good!

Then I followed him upstairs to a room where a woman fussed over him and checked him out to see if he was a functioning human. Turns out he is! Didn't stop them from taking blood tests and stuff - not what you're after when you're less than an hour old. 

This was the first time I had a proper look at Freddie's foot. That's where they like to take the tests from.

Then we went to wait for Rosie in the birthing suite. It was just me and Freddie in there for an hour or so. I got to hold him on my chest with a heater on above us - it was quite lovely. When Rosie came in she was all woozy and drugged up, but she was very happy to meet Freddie and the feeling was mutual. Well, they already knew each other pretty well.

The next day we all just hung out.

I got to stay there overnight, on some gym mats that are usually used for giving birth on. I was loving it on those things! Meanwhile, Rosie was emerging from her drug haze and was really loving hanging out with Freddie. He still wasn't called Freddie yet, at this point. There were a few different names we ran up the flagpole, like Max Jr., but Freddie's the one that stuck. Sam's suggestion of Noreaga was never really on the cards.

Here's me looking pretty tired (and a little bit grunge, what with the cardigan) with Freddie. This is after they moved Rosie to another smaller room,one where people recover from having a baby, rather than actually have one. They didn't have any gym mats in there so I had to leave at night and come back in the morning.

Oh yeah! This was in Freddie's 'Chairman Freddie' period. Touch of the jaundice.

Here's Chairman Freddie again, this time relaxing in his perspex crib while Jason's sunflowers look on approvingly.

This is a classic Freddie in hospital shot. He doesn't look like this anymore, really. Or maybe he does. I've discovered that while most babies look exactly the same to me, Freddie is a source of great fascination and joy. I'm also quite proud of my swaddling skills in this shot - note the tight wrap.

The whole time they were in hospital, both Freddie and Rosie had to take antibiotics via a drip. Freddie had this boogie board thing stuck to his arm as well. It was pretty grim. He even smelled funny. Those days are over now. They wouldn't even give me a cup of coffee! I had to go downstairs, walk over the road to the 7-11 and buy one like a sucker. It was hard for me.

Here's Rosie with Freddie on the day they got to leave the hospital. Look at them, happy as clams. It was a crazy experience and Rosie did a really amazing job of staying very positive and excited the whole time, even though she was in pain and being poked and prodded every 10 minutes, and stuck in the same room for five days and on drugs. They did give her free cups of tea though.

And here they are again, just a few days later, back in Brunswick West. Happier than clams.

I know what you're all wondering, and the answer is yes, Tess is fine. She's a bit weirded out and tends to sleep on my pillow a lot, but otherwise she is playing it cool and cute - as per usual.

Rosie's mum Helen came over to help us adjust back to home life and meet Freddie. Here he is holding her finger, while praying to his god.

We've had quite a few visitors, which has been lovely. Riley and Sam were among them. Riley even went to the trouble of making us cheese cigars! Freddie farted on Sam, which went down well.

Uncle Max!

We were pretending to be a happy gay couple in this pic

Anna and Bub made the trek over from Adelaide for just one night, just to meet Freddie. The first in the next generation of Olijnyks! 

Lovely stuff. 

Scottie is back in America now, but I was very glad his visit to our shores coincided with Freddie's arrival. Here he is trying to eat him.

He's so cute and fluffy.

That's enough for now, even Freddie is getting bored! So yes, there you go. Freddie!

27 October 2014

Wuthering Heights

I went skating at the school again yesterday. I arrived first and discovered all the obstacles were locked away. Instead of calling off the session, I decided to roll around for a bit to warm up. I found a bin and put that in the middle of the basketball court, then started trying tricks over it on its side. Then a few people showed up and we kept skating the bin while we waited for everyone else. Then it turned into a fun skate and by the end of it, I was worn out.

Tom took a photo of me again, this time trying a backside 180 over said bin.

Matthew was trying the much harder frontside heelflip over the bin while I tried my measly 180 ollie.
He nearly got it on numerous occasions. Very impressive.
Yared stole the show again. Tree was back out filming as well, which was pretty impressive, considering he basically cut his hand off about a month ago.

I made this short film about the day.

13 October 2014


Hi everyone. Yesterday we had lunch at Raph and Beci's house. Raph made these incredible beef sandwiches with horseradish sauce and bits of fresh onion. He dipped the rolls (three types to choose from, one made by Aaron) in the beef juices. It was really delicious, even by Raph's standards. Among the guests were Ed, Olivia, Miles and Sofia. They are some of my best friends. I will never forget how they looked after me and treated me like a member of their family when I was getting over being hit by a truck a few years ago. Ed just got back from overseas, so it was a special treat to see them all.

I lent my little camera to Beci a while ago and she gave it back to me, so I started playing around with it. I feel rude that I didn't get photos of everyone, especially Raph and Beci, our gracious hosts, but I did take a few of some kids. And a cloudy window.

Maybe they should make windows with clouds on them already. Do they already do that? Write that down.

We were just sitting around drinking beers in the kitchen when Sofia rocked up in this dog suit, to great effect. It proved to be a bit warm for the weather, though, and soon she had switched to a tropical gown of some sort. Equal parts stylish and clownish.

Milo is basically a (slightly) smaller version of Ed, and is getting funnier by the day. Check out his jeans - some original Note to Self numbers, which I paid Ed with for an ad he laid out for me in Won magazine - remember that thing?

Lulu, Sofia (see, the gown?) and Ari on the kinetic sand. Have you touched that stuff? It's like you're on drugs.

Last kid in the series - the one Rosie has to carry around everywhere she goes! I hope he has her eyes and her insatiable thirst for alcohol. ;)

6 October 2014

A sale and a skate

That was quite a weekend. For starters, on Friday I got drunk, then on Saturday I had a jeans sale at The Good Copy shop. It looks like Tess is worried there are no customers in this shot, but it was actually quite busy. She just wanted to run outside, to her probable death.

Quite a few of the usual suspects showed, and I was ready for them with delicious Astra lagers.

Luckily, Rosie was on hand to wrangle Tess, make entertaining quips and help people with their jeans selections while I wondered around bleary-eyed, repeatedly saying hello to people.

The shop was the perfect spot for slack-peddling and we did a steady trade all day, with lots of friendly visitors including Romy, Caroline and Jared.

There's Tess again, standing on Sez's Moroccan rug, staring wistfully outside but having a good time nonetheless.

Three wise men.

Amanda and Corey. Corey started walking on Friday! He was showing off with an interesting sidestep crabwalk thing in the shop.

Jason was pointing at a squinty Andrew

A mid-anecdotal Prior

Wendy and Ben came along for the bargains and stayed for my incredible scattered banter.

Charlie giving us his classic ThreeThousand street gallery pose

Fast forward almost 24 hours and I was having a skate with a group of handsome shirtless men in a schoolyard. This is Yared.

Ivan and a well chiselled back tail. I have to exercise more.

It was the best skate I've had in perhaps years, thanks to no scooters and the fact that I finally learned this trick - the backside smith grind. Tom was so impressed he took this lovely photo.

You want another angle? Alright then. I am incredibly proud of learning this trick and I don't care what you say. It's been haunting me for decades!

Cheers Tom

Nick Yared - an incredible skateboarder and a lovely chap.

Alex is the coolest real estate agent I know. Much cooler than Blake from The Bachelor anyway.

Lachie and I skated the ledge for what seemed like hours after everyone else stopped.

It really was a great time out there.